Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We left the knife in your bed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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