I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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