i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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