And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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