marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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