I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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