I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
