i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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