Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
