So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
my liver is dry heaving
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize