Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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