I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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