Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
