so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
