You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
why is half of my head shaved?
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