You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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