i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
