Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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