i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
