her vagine was all disorganized.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
