woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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