i barfeds in our rink
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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