so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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