hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
