Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
