just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
