lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
