Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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