wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
