Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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