So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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