Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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