My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
