Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
