oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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