I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize