so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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