Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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