Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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