I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
