Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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