my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
