What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
