If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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