Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
