i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
