i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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