I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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