they need to just BURY HIM!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
