dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
