So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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