I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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