did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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