At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
