so explain again why im purple
no
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize