I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
