I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
